I had a dream of living in Italy and enjoying the sunshine whilst drinking glasses of wine. All I needed to do was convince my wife and sell my house. Surprisingly enough it was easier to convince my wife that la bella vita was feasible, selling the house was another matter altogether.
My wife flew to Italy to start work and to find a house to rent. I remained in the UK and started to paint the house in Magnolia, I ripped up the carpet in the kitchen and laid wood effect tiles and did all the things the television shows suggested. My house was now ready to sell.
The house was now ready
While I was sat in my freshly painted magnolia living room, holding onto my cup of tea (The coffee table had been removed to make the room look larger) I learned that people were queuing up to withdraw their money from Northern Rock. It was scandalous, how could a British bank fail and more importantly, how could I sell my house if the banks stopped providing mortgages. I received a phone call from my wife who was sat in a little house in Italy, she wanted to know if she should come home.
There were longer queues than at a woolworths sweety counter
As my dream of living in Italy started to collapse I suddenly had a great, Nah! a fantastic idea! We will rent the house I told her, lots of people need houses, when the market picks up we can put it up for sale. I try not to regret decisions I have made but……
The first tenant arrived with her bond, she loved the house and said she would stay for at least 5 years, this worried me a little because I was hoping the banks might sort themselves out and we might be able to sell the house in 2 years time. Her only concern with the house was the number of steps. We had stairs going down to the basement, stairs going up to the bedroom and even more stairs going up to the attic bedroom. I did understand her concern, she was a little overweight.
The stairs were a problem
We agreed on no smoking in the house and no pets. She gave me £ 750.00 bond and one months rent, we shook hands and I caught the next flight to Italy.
For three months her rent arrived on time, I sat in Italy drinking cups of cappuccino, learning the language and relaxing, and then I received the e mail.
Hi it is John here, you might have a little problem. Do you remember Mark who lives next door to your house? Well his girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night and saw what she thought was a rat running across her bedroom floor. It took Mark two hours to calm her down, her screams even woke us up.
Mark cornered the animal behind the wardrobe and it turned out to be the pet hamster that had escaped from your tenant house. I think you need to give Mark a ring, at the moment his girlfriend is sleeping at her mothers.
Hope you are enjoying the sunshine
I am not a Rat !!!
I thought John had had written the e mail after smoking some strange tobacco, after all my tenants agreement stated. NO PETS
I sent a quick e mail to John
Hi John, Are you sure the hamster belonged to my tenant? She is not allowed to have pets in the house?
All the best
Yes it is definitely hers, she helped mark to catch it and anyway, if she isn’t allowed to have pets, why has she got a cockatoo in the lounge?
No pets not even cockatoos
It was at this point I decided to book a ticket to the UK.